First Things First
Repeat after us: it is not up to you to love yourself. Yes, we’ve said this before, but we really want to drive that point home because, if you’re anything like us, you’ve probably got a little kid inside of you that lives in flashback-playground fear of someone saying ‘wow, you’ve got tickets on yourself’ or ‘love yourself much?’ or ‘talk about being up yourself’. And it’s funny when you think about it that the common word here is ‘yourself’. Your. Self. Well, who better to look after you than the actual self?
It’s Not Just You
It’s easy to be hard on Your. Self. We’re programmed that way, really. Advertising, billboards, mags and social media are constantly reminding us that we should be younger, stronger, healthier, fitter, prettier, slimmer, more well-groomed, more fashionably dressed, smarter and well… just, ‘better’ than what we are right now.
There’s enormous pressure on our subconscious minds every time we see or hear these images and words because we feel like what they’re really saying is: ‘you’re not good enough’.
It’s understandable that this message filters through when you think about it. It’s impossible to live up to a photo-shopped version of reality. In fact, it’s hard enough to live up to that one good photo that is your go-to social media profile pic.
Helpful side-note: aim to pick one that makes you look good but not so good that people say awkward things when they see you in real life. For example: ‘you look really er… different… in person’ or ‘I don’t think we’ve met…?’ when they’ve liked your posts more than 200 times.
Real World Pressure
In a nutshell, there’s a lot of pressure from modern-living to ‘love being you’. And that pressure isn’t just from the media.
There’s that whole ‘grass-is-greener’, ‘keeping-up-with-the-Joneses’ thing going on in your real world too.
It’s very easy to feel you’re falling short of the mark when others are super-achieving around you, especially when they appear to be so effortless as they do so.
Suzy Homemaker who runs the tuckshop and bakes designer cakes for her kids’ birthday extravaganza can make you feel rather Bridget Too-Busy. Especially if you almost forget your kids birthday altogether and ‘make’ a last-minute fake-cake from store-bought iced doughnuts. Then there’s that couple who keep gallivanting off to Europe and clogging up your social media with their perfect family photos. And those boat-loving friends who keep telling you that they’re ‘living the dream’ while you run around on weekends being the mum-taxi in Saturday football traffic.
What To Do About It
There’s always someone who can do something or have something or be something that makes you feel inadequate, but there’s a rather delicious little solution to this whole inferiority-breeds-self-contempt cycle and it’s actually a phrase we’ve all heard before.
Suzy Homemaker isn’t making you feel like a #mumfail. In fact, that’s your guilty mind playing comparison games. The truth is, everyone really is unique and different and special, so why compare at all?
Suzy is an orange and you’re an apple, and your travelling friends are French grapes and the boat couple are er… salted limes. Without all this variety humanity would be a very boring fruit salad indeed.
So, to sum things up for you so far:
- You are unique and therefore comparison is about as useful to your self-esteem as offering actual fruit salad when serving up doughnut fake-cake at said kids party. You rock at being you! In fact, no-one else even comes close to that role, and… before you say ‘who’d want it?’ we are now taking you to point 2 of this self-love injection:
- There’s loads more to love about being you than you probably even realise.
Don’t believe us?
Well, take us on here – if you dare – because we’re about to PROVE how fabulous you truly are and fill you up with gratitude, happiness, and yes, some self-love too.
It’s a simple enough exercise, but it’s based on some awesome science, centred around happy brain chemicals and positive reinforcement, but hey, let’s not geek out here.
Just trust us that this exercise works and, quite honestly, the Super Staffers swear by it.
You will honestly start feeling a whole lot happier in your own skin because… well, quite simply, you’ll start valuing it more.
Learning To Love Me
Right. There’s only a few rules, but they are all equally important:
- Every day, for the next week, you need to write 3 simple lists of 10 things
- Every time you do this you can’t just copy the last list – do it fresh each time!
- When you’re done, just sit for a minute and think about how the lists make you feel
… that’s it. Oh, wait, you need the actual lists! Ok – ready?
Write down 10 things you are grateful for:
Write down 10 things you like about yourself:
Write down 10 things you have achieved in life:
10 X 3 = Learning to love me. Now that’s a pretty good investment of time, Super Squad. You can print out a template for these lists too: just download it here! Don’t forget to let us know how you go in the comments below or by hopping over to the Members Only Facebook Page.