As I’ve mentioned previously in Dealing With Naysayers, it can be very unhelpful to listen to others – those who’re being negative, that is; you’re very much encouraged to listen to those who are being supportive!
Along the same lines, it can also be unhelpful to compare yourself to others. Psychologists call this social comparison, and it is one of the more significant killers of happiness and satisfaction?
Why?
Well, for several reasons – we’re all different people, with different backgrounds and different goals. So, in many ways it makes no sense to compare ourselves to others. On top of this, too many people make the mistake of comparing their worst bits to other people’s best bits; which is just unfair to all concerned!
That being said, we are (at least in part) social animals; and accordingly, it’s normal to want to ‘fit in’ and to be accepted. In order to assess these desires, we do need, in some way, to review where we’re at and where others are at. But this is quite different to wondering whether or not we’re happier or more successful or healthier than our partners or friends.
For one, most of these variables simply can’t be measured just by looking at someone; health cannot be seen just by looking at someone’s body or even weighed on scales, and happiness is so much more than just a smile (or lack thereof).
So, what’s the answer?
Purely and simply… stop comparing! Or if you do have to compare yourself to something or someone, then compare to the person you were or to the person you’re trying to become. That is, where are you now and where do you want to be? Most importantly, if there’s a difference between the former and the latter (as there always will be, because none of us is perfect) then what do you need to do to move in the right direction and get closer to your Super Life?
How are you moving past comparing yourself to others this week? Remember to share your stories in the comments or jump into the Members Facebook page to chat further and support others in their journey. Have a super week!