It’s an old saying but it rings true, you have to love yourself before anybody else can. In our society, it is too easy to be swept up in superficial appearances, so this week we focus on learning to love yourself deep down so that you can live a fuller and happier life.
Stop that Thought!
Take a look in the mirror and note down the first thing you see. If it is a negative thought, my hair is messy, I look frumpy, I’m too tall or too short, stop right there!
Dr Happy defines labelling as “overgeneralising of a specific attribute or occurrence to broadly cover all of someone” and quite frankly, it can be very destructive. “It’s not helpful and more often than not it’s not realistic,” Dr Happy explains, “Typically, labelling contributes to negative feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.” One way to combat self-labelling is to understand how you jumped to that conclusion in the first place. Dr Happy suggests asking yourself the following questions whenever you find yourself slapping on a label:
- Is this fair?
- Is it actually true?
- Even if it was relevant at some time in the past, is it still appropriate now?
- What would be a more helpful and useful way to think about myself?
Keep in mind that just because you have a thought, doesn’t mean it’s right. Dr Happy reminds us that “thoughts are not facts; and thoughts are not always helpful.” What is useful is determining which thoughts are helpful and add value to your life, and which ones are better off being told to just buzz off!
Flip that Frown Upside Down
Every time you find yourself thinking a negative thought about your appearance, use Dr Happy’s deconstruction exercise to determine if there is any truth to your thought. Then, replace that negative thought with a positive one. Yes, your hair might look messy and your face is splotchy, but that might be because you just rocked a super challenging workout, which is something to be incredibly proud of! Make a habit out of fending off every unfounded negative thought with a positive factual one that undermines it.
One of the biggest challenges to building high self-esteem is the put-downs we say to ourselves. Don’t think anything about yourself that you wouldn’t say to a friend. You’d never tell your bestie that she looks fat or she has big bags under her eyes, so stop bullying yourself! It’s time for a new habit: liking yourself as a whole picture in that mirror, just the way you are!
Love Deep Down
Keep training your brain to focus on your positive attributes. And don’t restrict yourself to appearances; recognise your best qualities that make you a good friend, a respectful partner and a loving sister, mum or daughter. Everything that you see in the mirror is really just wrapping paper – the real you is underneath. And in order to love yourself, you need to love all of you!
Bonus Video – Giving Back
This week, we have a bonus video for you to help you pump up the self-love and give yourself a big pat on the back. You deserve it, because a significant portion of your SFD membership goes to help the Human Kind Project fund projects in Africa, India and other developing nations around the world. That’s right, you’re helping give people the education and the tools to get themselves out of poverty, hunger and ill health. Discover more by watching The Power of an Entrepreneur below.