When you were younger, were you ever told by a parent or a sibling, or friend, or a teacher that you…
- Couldn’t sing
- Weren’t creative
- Were no good at —- (fill in the blank)
- Were ‘chubby’
Along the same lines, did you ever fail at something and then think you were ‘no good’ or ‘hopeless at’ that and other similar activities?
Unfortunately, this is a common phenomenon; it’s something we do to ourselves and can be something that other people ‘do to us’ too.
And there’s a name for it – psychologists call it labelling; which describes the over-generalising of a specific attribute or occurrence to broadly cover all of someone. As an example, think of the Spice Girls: there’s the ‘sporty’ one, the ‘scary’ one, the ‘posh’ one, and so on. And while it can sometimes be thought of as harmless (especially in childhood), as you might be able to guess, it isn’t helpful; and more often than not it’s not a realistic representation of a person… and typically, it contributes to negative feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.
On top of this, just because you were – or weren’t – something as a child or younger person doesn’t mean you may not have changed and that you’re not better or different in some way now. In fact, you almost certainly have changed, as we all do, as we age and mature and grow and develop.
This sounds obvious, but so often – too often – we hold onto perceptions we formed of ourselves years, or even decades, earlier.
But you’re not the same as you were at five or 15 or maybe even 25!
Today’s task, therefore, is to reflect upon any and all labels you’ve given yourself (or that others may have given you) over the years and ask…
- Is this fair?
- Is it actually even true?
- Even if it was relevant at some time in the past, is it still appropriate now?
- What would be a more helpful and useful way to think about myself?
And once you’ve completed this activity, don’t forget to check out Programming Fabulous, which is your guide to hacking those happy brain chemicals to reprogram yourself the way you want to be.
Super Staffer Rosie shared one of her stories in this week’s video, so why don’t you let us know: what are some of the things that you were labelled with when you were younger? Remember to download the activity sheet, which will guide you through this week’s lesson.
How are you shedding these labels and emerging as the glorious, whole, complicated, unique person that you are now? Leave a comment, or hop into the Members’ Facebook group and offer your support to others leaving their labels behind this week.